It’s two decades since her passing and I must admit that her parting on March 31st, 1995, has left an incurable open wound in my heart. One thing is certain, I feel privileged to have grown up with the captivating and vibrant music of the late Selena Quintanilla –my eternal role model.

Selena was a Mexican-American singer, songwriter, spokesperson and fashion designer. She’s the angelic voice behind hits such as “Amor Prohibido,” “Como la Flor,” “Dreaming of You” and “Bidi Bidi Bom Bom” –all which still sound in the radios today.

In such a short period of time, her career skyrocketed to the top, becoming the first Tejano artist to nab a GRAMMY with her 1993 album Live!, amongst other accomplishments.

Needless to say, her music and undeniable talents brought Latinos to the forefront, demonstrating that we too can dominate the entertainment biz.

But besides her successful trajectory, Selena is remembered today because of her humble personality, kind-hearted spirit, one-of-a-kind smile and addicting laughter, which resounds in everyone’s memories.

At the peak of her career, right when she was about to debut her English-language studio album, a cold-hearted woman known as Yolanda Saldivar took away her dreams. As a fan, I refuse to mention her name in my pieces, but it’s necessary for those who are not familiar with this bittersweet story.

It only took one gun shot for Saldivar, who was the president of Selena’s fan club, to snatch the life of a friend, a wife, a daughter, a sister, a superstar and an inspiration to many.

Though she’s not here today, my heart still goes “Bidi Bidi Bom Bom” for Selena. I know, and I can confirm, that I’m not the only one who feels this way about the “Queen of Tex-Mex.”

Recalling my March 31st, 1995

You see, I was only eight years old when the tragic news hit worldwide in 1995. Until this day, I remember my mom picking me up from school as I waited outside my second grade class.

She seemed flushed, pale, she had dry tears on her face and I couldn’t understand. I asked if everything was all right and her immediate response was “Selena has been hurt.”

My mom has always been the type of person to never want to worry anyone, so she didn’t want to hit me with the real news that Selena passed away, especially since I was only a kid.

As we sat before the TV looking at news coverage, I found out that Selena had indeed died. At that moment, my jaw dropped and tears streamed out of my eyes.

I wasn’t just a fan of her music. I didn’t just imitate her “washing machine” moves and sing “Tu Solo Tu” at birthday parties. Selena was like family to me –though the closest I’ve been to her was through a TV screen or a CD player.

Until this day, I have yet to find a celebrity who is as humble, charismatic and naturally talented and beautiful as she was. Someone who could make me feel part of them.

It’s two decades since her passing and at 28 years old, I still cry and get chilling goosebumps when I see her videos on YouTube, when I hear her music or when I watch the 1997 biopic starring Jennifer Lopez.

My friends don’t understand me, and they don’t have to, but for me Selena’s death was like losing the older sister I never had. It hit home. It wasn’t easy back then, and it isn’t easy today.

As an 8-year-old, it was painful and traumatic knowing that I would never enjoy my first Selena concert. That I would never meet her in person. That there would be no more records to collect other than the one’s she released. All I have, really, are dreams of her (as she sings in “Dreaming of You”).

I still ask myself today, why her? Why in that way? One thing’s certain, she left behind an irreplaceable legacy —filled with music, fashion inspirations, laughters and life lessons.

Selena’s music has helped me deal with love, heartbreaks, with the mundane. She taught me the importance of family. She encouraged me to do great in school. She taught me to dream.

I never aspired to be a singer like Selena, but her inspirational quote to believe the “impossible is always possible” has made me the thriving and passionate journalist I am today.

Thank you Selena Quintanilla. One day we will meet and it’ll be the best interview I’ve given in my life. In the meantime, I express with one of my favorite songs of yours how I’ve felt these past twenty years.